


Decaf Diary

by Nitrobot



Category: Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: Coffee Shops, Gen, Sassy coffee machine
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-21
Updated: 2016-05-21
Packaged: 2018-06-09 19:44:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 770
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6920491
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nitrobot/pseuds/Nitrobot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Even Decepticons need coffee, and Starbuck is the one tasked with making it. Poor guy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Decaf Diary

It was only a few vorns into the war that supply shortages started hitting hard. Though the Decepticons had over half of Cybertron's energon mines in their territory, all they could do was refine it into liquid. No added ions, no hints of spice or flavour beyond the stale taste of boiled rock. Every day, every evening, the same servings of bland blue fuel. It was enough to drive morale into the ground, make soldiers contemplate running for the Autobots and all their carefully stockpiled rations.

That was the reason Starbuck and Costa were allowed to live, when they were first brought before Megatron. And also why Starbuck could happily get away with tormenting the second in command.

“Starscream, sir, like I’ve been telling you for the past two decacyles, we _do not have_ any gel foam. _No one_ has any gel foam. At this point in time, gel foam is a _myth_. If you can get me a fully working processing plant to _make_ some gel foam, I'd be more than happy to give you some. But you can't. Therefore, I couldn’t make you a Gonnucinno even if I wanted to.” Starbuck could almost see the logic cores in Starscream’s processor spinning hard enough to shoot right out of his helm, but he mostly focused on Costa trying to suppress peals of laughter behind the Seeker at her own serving station. She always got the more reasonable customers, the tired officers who just wanted something to get the taste of ozone and Megatron’s disappointment off their glossas. Which left him with the difficult ones, like Starscream on the verge of leaping over the counter to claw his neck cables into ribbons.

“Listen to me very carefully, you glorified rust dispenser, if I don't get something with overcharged ions and covered in bolt shavings in the next five nanoklicks, you’ll be scraping your own scrap off the ground when I throw you off the top spire of Darkmount!”

Starbuck might have been impressed with how the Seeker managed to come up with new threats every day, if he didn't often hear him practicing his rants on unlucky Vehicons. “I can make a Sodigon negative standard with added zap; take it or leave it.” 

Starscream grated his denta together, eyeridges creasing and almost fusing into one solid mass, but the grumble of his tanks eventually drowned out his anger. His wings inclined downwards, still twitching, and Starbuck took the signal as a defeated agreement. The nozzle in his servo poured out a stream of thin blue liquid into the cube held by his other hand, steam whisping up from the surface as he squeezed a volt that Starscream didn’t deserve into it. For some reason Seekers always liked their energon as energised as possible, practically buzzing with ions. Starbuck always had images of his plating being charred black by a stray charge leaping out as he passed the drink over, but sadly there’d be no easy day off for him as Starscream snatched the cube away without incident.

“Will that be all, sir, or will you be wanting a platinum plated Mercracker as well? Maybe a side of Luna-2 sourced ore to tide you over until lunch?” Starscream didn't bother turning around to answer Starbuck’s called out sarcasm- a pity, considering how boring life trapped behind a counter was. At least he still had Costa, caught up in another struggle to contain her giggles, and the endless gossip of the canteen. And just because Starscream, wings still sagging, went to join his arguably more well-adjusted brothers didn't mean he couldn't still be heard.

“Blasted cheapskate hoarding service drones… if I was in charge, I'd have them all melted down and turned into the cubes they serve!”

“The keyword there being ‘if’, Starscream,” Thundercracker sighed, optics rattling in his helm as they rolled. It was a topic that if they had a credit for every time Starscream brought it up, they could buy a whole new planet to rule. From the safety of his station Starbuck made a note to slip Thunder a few more volts tomorrow as Skywarp squinted at his brother's tray.

“Hey, you said you'd get me a muffinite!” he whined.

“Too fragging bad,” Starscream muttered, grimacing as he sipped his cube but still drinking away. He tried far too hard to find things to hate, Starbuck thought. A convenient thought it was, considering who was next in line and strutting up to him.

“Good morning, Starbuck-”

“Knockout, if you ask about the ‘secret menu’ again, I'll shove my nozzle up your olfactories and make your sensors short circuit.”

**Author's Note:**

> I have a bad habit of making OCs and doing nothing with them, which was the case for these two until now.  
> I just wanted a cute coffee machine couple and Starscream being told off tbh.


End file.
